Sexual shame is very common, however, in our culture, this is not something you will hear many people openly discuss. Often our first experiences of sexuality as children are met with shame responses from other children or adults, making us want to hide our sexual selves.
We are in a culture of sexual liberation and sexual conservatism, which can be confusing to say the least.
Shame is closely linked to rejection, making the sexual experience something of a performance rather than mutual pleasure. Our desire then becomes about making our sexual experiences perfect to ensure we won't be left with the crushing sense of failure.
Many people feel shame about their sexual behaviour, whether it be they are wanting sex too much or not enough, what they find pleasurable or who they are attracted to.
As a shame researcher, I believe we do not need to carry on living with sexual shame.
With empathy and compassion, my aim is to help those who are living with shame become their fully authentic sexual selves.